Many years ago, I lived in a large apartment building and had an upstairs neighbor, “Dave,” who was a compulsive talker. With Dave, there was no such thing as a conversation “in passing,” because every conversation quickly turned into a hostage situation. An affable middle-aged man with relentlessly high energy, he would happily hold forth on any number of topics and didn’t seem to notice, or care, that he was doing all the talking.

If he and I walked into the building at the same time, his monologue would continue even as, during my unheard “see ya later,” I slowly inched my door closed until the “click” became his signal to retreat. I and some fellow neighbors once confessed to each other that we’d sometimes resorted to holding our phones to our ears pretending to be in conversation if we saw Dave approach. 

What drives Dave to his compulsion (or any of us to our own), is not the point of this article. All of us, certainly, are capable of being so captivated by a pet topic that we drone on with no thought to the experience of our listeners. And this is especially true—and consequential— when we are in the role of presenter. 

We’ve all had the experience of sitting through presentations where the speaker talked at us rather than to us and failed to notice that we had mentally left the building. Such speakers may be so determined to “get through” their presentations, push out the information, or end on time, that they forget that they’re there to connect with the audience. Their self-consciousness interferes with their ability to observe even the most obvious disengagement cues. Yet it’s the responsibility of the presenter to focus not only on the presentation but the response of the listeners. Without that dual attention, it’s one-way communication. A closed loop. A sender without a receiver. 

More than just appearing self-involved, the “talking head” is in danger of losing the attention and goodwill of the audience (which, in the case of sales and persuasive presentations means losing buy-in). If we fail to communicate but merely hold forth, we won’t hear the “click” when the audience closes the door. 

That’s why it’s essential to stay focused on our story and “read the room” at the same time. That means noticing when people return eye contact, smile (if they’re unmasked!), take notes, nod their heads, ask questions, or show other signs of positive engagement. Responses such as these boost presenter confidence; what’s more gratifying than evidence that our message is hitting home? 

Conversely, listeners will also show when they’re not on board with our ideas, or not engaged at all. The engaged-but-unsold audience may frown, furrow their brows, cover their mouths, avoid our eye contact, or maintain poker faces. The totally-tuned-out audience is likely to stare into space, whisper to their colleagues, check their devices, yawn, or doodle. I was once part of a small audience, in a conference room, in which an attendee of high rank held up various snacks and silently offered to pass them around—while the presenter was still speaking. The presenter, who was of lower rank, joked about the unexpected snack break but visibly lost his confidence after that. The disrespectful interruption had confirmed that he wouldn’t get the support he wanted (which he didn’t).

Our audience’s nonverbal signals offer us ongoing feedback. Studies show that women tend to be more adept than men at observing and responding to nonverbal cues. And yet, regardless of gender, our interpretation of those signals is not always accurate. What if the listener with his arms folded in the classic “defensive” posture merely finds it comfortable? What if the “approving” smile from the front row is just a vacant expression, or a response to a private daydream about a beach in Bermuda? With seemingly tuned-out, hard-to-read, or visibly resistant audiences, sometimes the only way to be gauge their response is to ask. For example:

“What questions do you have at this point?”

“How do you think this could benefit our department?”

“What are you finding most challenging about this proposal so far?”

There are risks, however, when you invite audience comments during the presentation. Their responses could go off-topic. Or the discussion stays on topic but keeps you from making all your points within the time limit. It’s a judgment call: “Should I proceed with my planned talk … or is there more value in this audience discussion?”

If asking for their input isn’t an option for you, but you still want to respond to what you’re “reading” in the room, here are a few suggestions:

Acknowledge what you see or hear. 

• “Some of you look surprised. Our team was, too, when we saw the results.” 

• “I got the feeling that I lost some of you when I talked about the calculations just now, but I promise to clear up any confusion in the Q&A.”

• “I’m seeing a lot of skeptical expressions. I think this next slide will help ease those doubts …”

• “I can tell that this has been a lot of information to take in, so far. Let’s take a stretch break.”

Take a poll.

• “Raise your hand if you think this approach could save us on manufacturing costs.” 

• “How many of you are starting to see the possible upside of this setback?”

• “Who thinks the case study I just shared could be an effective sales tool?”

Mindread.

• “At this point, some of you might be thinking to yourselves, ‘Why is it important to know this? It doesn’t affect me!’ But here’s why it should matter to all of us …” 

• “I can imagine that a business model like this one could seem a little crazy to you. It certainly seemed that way to me when I first heard about it. But the more I studied it, I found that …”

• “Right about now you may be wondering how this change will affect our part-timers. I promise to get to that in just a few minutes. But first, let me show you how we’re …”

For presenters who focus on their content and their audience, the wins are many. By observing your listeners’ behaviors, you can get real-time feedback on your impact and adjust your approach accordingly, if necessary. Your willingness to acknowledge, directly or indirectly, their nonverbal responses demonstrates that you are attuned to them, rather than indulging in monologue—proof of your leadership instincts and communication skills.

And when an audience senses that you care about their experience, that you’re not there to just “show what you know,” they’re more likely to trust you and reward you with their full attention. In a time of ever-shortening attention spans, that’s a generous gift indeed.